Memorial Services – All You Need To Know
A memorial service is a ceremony that takes place after the funeral without the body being present and is a commemorative event where loved ones can grieve and support each other. This type of service is not always required but it may be a source of comfort for a large number of friends and family and it provides the mourners with the opportunity to honour the life of a loved one. It is not necessarily a replay of the funeral service, as emotions will have changed since the service, and it is typical that more people will be present from a wider circle including those who knew the deceased in various aspects of their life. In this article from Hearts & Souls Celebrancy, we look at everything that you will need to know about holding a memorial service.
Why hold a memorial service?
In the time after the funeral, whether the body has been cremated or buried, a memorial is a way to offer comfort and support for a much wider circle of family and friends, who may not have been able to attend a private family service. It provides an opportunity to remember and pay tribute to a life that has been lived and to put their life into the spotlight with a fitting tribute. It may therefore be a more joyful event than the funeral service, as it is a celebration of life.
It may be also be that there is no body or remains, which could occur if missing or presumed dead, or if the body has been donated to science. If these circumstances prevail, any service held will be a memorial ceremony.
What to consider when planning a memorial service
- Choose the date
- Select the location
- Decide who will lead the service
- Invite those you would like to attend
- Ask family and friends to participate
- Plan the order of service
When can a memorial service be held?
It can be held weeks, months or even years after the funeral service although it can even take place on that day as well. If it is held on a later date, it will enable the family to have more time to plan and there will be greater flexibility with the choice of dates and the location. You may want it to take place on a special date such as the birthday of the deceased or the anniversary of their death.
Where can a memorial service take place?
There are no restrictions on where you can hold a memorial as it will be down to the numbers of people you are expecting to determine the size of the venue, the catering needed, parking requirements and accessibility. This means if you have the facilities available, it could be held at a private home or you may choose a place that had a special significance for the deceased or a location that is convenient and easily accessed by the mourners. These include a hotel, community centre, church hall, pub or outside. Also be aware of your budget as the costs can quickly run away with you!
Who will lead the service?
You will need a ‘master of ceremonies’ for the service to run smoothly. You could ask a member of the family or a friend who is skilled at public speaking and is a good organiser, but remember this will be a very emotional day. Many people choose a funeral celebrant who is experienced in leading memorial services. They will not only listen to your suggestions but also come up with ideas that you might not have thought of and guide you with choice of music, readings, eulogies and participation from guests.
Should you send out invitations?
These are often sent out offering the family the opportunity to decide whether guests should be invited to wear particular clothing, or to bring something, which inspires a memory and encourages active involvement and participation from the guests. In today’s world, you can also invite people via social media including creating a Facebook event for close friends and family or a public post if you would like to share it to a larger social circle explaining that everyone is welcome to come along.
Involvement and participation by the mourners
A memorial service provides the ideal opportunity to encourage a wider range of guests and family to take part and they should be actively encouraged to share their own recollections, such as thoughts, memories and stories, which could give rise to learning a few secrets about the deceased.
Should keepsakes be given to the mourners?
This is a lovely gesture and a way of thanking friends and family for their support. It also allows the guests to take a memento away with them as a reminder and as a way of keeping the memory of the loved one in their hearts and mind. It could be seeds, bulbs, a candle, charms or a photograph, which is handed out at the end of the ceremony. Many celebrants offer a keepsake script of the whole ceremony.
Ideas for symbolic actions
Symbolic actions can help mourners to remember their loved one and ensure that they are always in their hearts. There are lots of things that you can do including releasing balloons, lanterns, or doves symbolising the release of a loved one. Tealights or candles can be used to light up a pathway and lighting a candle in particular honours the memory of the person you have lost.
How can Hearts & Souls Celebrancy help you to arrange a memorial service?
With the current situation limiting the number in attendance at funerals due to COVID-19 lockdown regulations and social distancing procedures, a memorial service in the future, may be the perfect opportunity to celebrate the life of a loved one. If you choose to have a funeral celebrant to lead your memorial service, Jane can be booked directly and will help you to plan the actual service according to your requirements and will answer any questions that you may have. Call Jane on 07774 614399 or email jane@heartsandsoulscelebrancy.co.uk
